the night of the lists

i got the job. i am moving to San Diego, CA in September following a "cruise" this month in the sea of cortez. and i will now be spending up to 6 mos a year at sea. ok so this is not the "cruise" like you are thinking. it is entirely work "cruise".

let's list the differences shall we?

  1. very small, close quarters. you can go no further then 300 ft max.
  2. there are anywhere between 20 and 50 people who share those 300 ft with you and you can NEVER get away from them.
  3. the work is physically and mentally hard, draining and dirty. in addition to all that, it is nearly 24 hours a day as long as you are within sight of the boat, you are working on the boat.
  4. food is mediocre and fresh veggies are only good for so long no matter what amazing technology you use to keep them.
  5. i will be missing many holidays, birthdays, weddings and the like, seeing as i must be able to be at sea for 6 mos of the year (not all at once mind you).
now why? why on god's green earth am i so excited about this job?
  1. you canNOT beat the commute, you sleep under your office.
  2. if you enjoy the company, you are lucky and get to know them very well during the time you spend together.
  3. while difficult, tiring and dirty it is very rewarding and specialized and at the end of the cruise/day you feel like you got some important information from the sea.
  4. the cooks/chefs are usually nice and aim to please. they try really hard and sometimes, you will get a crazy creme brulee in the middle of the pacific ocean and seriously, when was the last time you had creme brulee?
  5. hopefully i will have much more time off and money to play and visit during calmer days than holidays.
  6. work will send me all around the pacific ocean. how else am i gonna be able to afford a two week vacation in New Zealand?
  7. i can continue to do science without begging for money or writing papers.
  8. 6 mos at sea a year! i love the sea. it is beautiful and amazing and powerful. i LOVE it.
this means much work on my part in the next two weeks. must settle some business at the university. do a ton of paperwork for my new job and international travel. packing for a cruise for an extended period of time is difficult, especially on such short notice.

also. i am leave my local family. i have lived here for seven years and built a family when i went away to college. i currently live with my bf and his son on weekends. we have lived together for almost two years now. i love him so much. we both have always known this day was coming, but we wanted to be together so we stayed together.

we knew this was coming for several reasons.
  1. i cannot do marine research in idaho. it is physically impossible. he cannot leave the area without sacrificing custody of his son. he won't be leaving.
  2. while i am divorced i am not opposed to marriage, but rather look forward to being married again and having children. bf does not want either. those are big things to just get over.
it was probably a bad idea to stay the minute i know we had different plans for life rather then get so damn attached, but i love him and don't want to leave him. as a result. i now cry at the drop of a hat at the idea of saying good-bye to him.

lots of positive and negative. i'm excited for my new life, but then again...

time to go celebrate with a little more crying.

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