Conversations to learn by

One bright early morning at sea I had this conversation.

Sailor: "I had a dream about you last night."
Me: "That's a hell of a thing to say first thing in the morning."
Sailor: "You're right, I'm sorry. Forget I said anything."
Me: "Oh hell no, you can't do that. What was it about?"
Sailor: "No you are right, it is inappropriate and I shouldn't have brought it up."
Me: "..."

Another awkward instance.

Friend: "What? You aren't curious about your friends sex lives?"
Me: "Well sure, but I don't talk behind their back. I mean what if they were talking about me? I would hate that, so I don't talk about them. Except those noisy neighbors. That wasn't exactly being kept quiet and I don't know them."
Me: "Wait... if you have ever heard anybody talk about me you have to tell me."
Me: "Answer the question!"
Friend: "Was there a question in there?"

LIE. Problem solved. My brain is a terrible place to be left alone and I can think of the worst possible answers. Either tell me the truth (it really has to be better than what I think) or lie. Tell me I was harpooning whales with pixie stix in your dream or that everyone is agreed I must be great in the sack. We get a laugh at the silly dream, I feel a little better and no one's feelings are hurt.

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